Legacies
Today I will rant and express an opinion as we celebrate Independence Day. I will talk about freedom from a different kind of tyranny.
Whether we intend to or not, we all leave something behind when we die. I am not talking about wealth or fame here. I am talking about something more subtle, yet far more important in my estimation. I am talking about perceptions that are formed or acknowledged when those close to the one who died discover or finally admit things about the deceased's character that they either didn't know or had closed their eyes to it while the person was alive.
It is an unfortunate fact that American men of questionable character and means sometimes bring ladies of high character and means to the U.S. for marriage, and then milk them for all they can get. The only draw that the American man has is the green card and a promise of a better chance in life for the lady or her child or both. When the bloom quickly falls off that rose, leaving only the thorns, the lady must make some difficult choices. Many times the choice is to put a good face on the situation for the world to see while suffering in silence and waiting for the day that freedom can be gained from the untenable situation in which they have unwittingly placed themselves and their child.
What can a third person say or do as they watch this sad drama unfold before their very eyes? Speak up and be damned, or stay silent and be damned. Not much of a choice, so I suspect most people opt for the latter. If they are close to the one who has been taken advantage of, this means that they are also suffering in silence. When their friend is finally freed from her hell on earth, there is cause for celebration, but how many will acknowledge this when freedom comes from death? Some will. The celebration isn't about the death; it is about the unexpected grant of freedom and the chance for their friend to pursue life unburdened by mistakes of the past.
Sometimes.
Unfortunately, sometimes there is an additional legacy left behind. A legacy of tangled finances and debt, and assets that mysteriously disappeared; substantial sums of money given for the good of the family's security but not used as promised. Simple documents not executed to protect those left behind. Untrue promises and assurances about security that has been provided for the future.
I have been hearing about this for several years, and I am concerned that what I have heard about are not isolated incidents. A couple of years ago we met a teenage child who had lived in this kind of situation. Her mother had been abused repeatedly, with bones broken and her body battered and scarred. We know of other ladies who have suffered abandonment, cheating, financial insecurity, emotional and physical abuse. Sometimes it is just emotional abuse, coupled with mind control because of the insecurity of the American man.
In my opinion, the ultimate legacy left is the raw truth about the character of the deceased. Proving once more that freedom often comes with a price.
Whether we intend to or not, we all leave something behind when we die. I am not talking about wealth or fame here. I am talking about something more subtle, yet far more important in my estimation. I am talking about perceptions that are formed or acknowledged when those close to the one who died discover or finally admit things about the deceased's character that they either didn't know or had closed their eyes to it while the person was alive.
It is an unfortunate fact that American men of questionable character and means sometimes bring ladies of high character and means to the U.S. for marriage, and then milk them for all they can get. The only draw that the American man has is the green card and a promise of a better chance in life for the lady or her child or both. When the bloom quickly falls off that rose, leaving only the thorns, the lady must make some difficult choices. Many times the choice is to put a good face on the situation for the world to see while suffering in silence and waiting for the day that freedom can be gained from the untenable situation in which they have unwittingly placed themselves and their child.
What can a third person say or do as they watch this sad drama unfold before their very eyes? Speak up and be damned, or stay silent and be damned. Not much of a choice, so I suspect most people opt for the latter. If they are close to the one who has been taken advantage of, this means that they are also suffering in silence. When their friend is finally freed from her hell on earth, there is cause for celebration, but how many will acknowledge this when freedom comes from death? Some will. The celebration isn't about the death; it is about the unexpected grant of freedom and the chance for their friend to pursue life unburdened by mistakes of the past.
Sometimes.
Unfortunately, sometimes there is an additional legacy left behind. A legacy of tangled finances and debt, and assets that mysteriously disappeared; substantial sums of money given for the good of the family's security but not used as promised. Simple documents not executed to protect those left behind. Untrue promises and assurances about security that has been provided for the future.
I have been hearing about this for several years, and I am concerned that what I have heard about are not isolated incidents. A couple of years ago we met a teenage child who had lived in this kind of situation. Her mother had been abused repeatedly, with bones broken and her body battered and scarred. We know of other ladies who have suffered abandonment, cheating, financial insecurity, emotional and physical abuse. Sometimes it is just emotional abuse, coupled with mind control because of the insecurity of the American man.
In my opinion, the ultimate legacy left is the raw truth about the character of the deceased. Proving once more that freedom often comes with a price.
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