Speaking with One Voice
Man, I lost my "mosquito repellant." What I mean is that with Ping not here to distract those little buggers, they have been biting me. How unfair. 
I think I am a fair and tolerant parent. I can also be firm and unyielding, however, if I believe the issue is too important for leniency. So I made an unpopular decision yesterday and stood my ground. I am the only parent here right now, so those tough love decisions must be made by me.
Sometimes a child will appeal the decision of one parent to the other parent, and that happened with us. What Cici learned, to her surprise, was that Mama and I speak with one voice. Ping was just as firm and unyielding as I had been on the issue.
Because we spoke with one voice, we saw an acceptance of the decision and a remarkable behavioral change immediately. I feel really bad when I do this, I told Ping later when Cici wasn't around. You made the right decision, Ping encouraged me, and I will always support you. That way Cici will learn that we have the same view about what is best for her, and she will learn to respect and accept your decisions.
What is that song about "life is a dance that you learn as you go?" That is sort of what it is like to be parenting when you assume a parenting role with a teenager from another culture, another country. So Cici and I will learn together, and we will both be better for the experience.
I think I am a fair and tolerant parent. I can also be firm and unyielding, however, if I believe the issue is too important for leniency. So I made an unpopular decision yesterday and stood my ground. I am the only parent here right now, so those tough love decisions must be made by me.
Sometimes a child will appeal the decision of one parent to the other parent, and that happened with us. What Cici learned, to her surprise, was that Mama and I speak with one voice. Ping was just as firm and unyielding as I had been on the issue.
Because we spoke with one voice, we saw an acceptance of the decision and a remarkable behavioral change immediately. I feel really bad when I do this, I told Ping later when Cici wasn't around. You made the right decision, Ping encouraged me, and I will always support you. That way Cici will learn that we have the same view about what is best for her, and she will learn to respect and accept your decisions.
What is that song about "life is a dance that you learn as you go?" That is sort of what it is like to be parenting when you assume a parenting role with a teenager from another culture, another country. So Cici and I will learn together, and we will both be better for the experience.
Thank you so much for this. I have told Mingjun that this is the way we will treat Chengji. One voice. He will not get a different answer by asking the other parent. We will provide a united front. That does not mean we can't discuss it later and change the decision, but we will not be at odds in front of the teenager
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Glad to hear that you are both providing a united front!
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