Gu Zheng or not to Gu Zheng
That is the question.
Ping's answer is simple and direct. You will do it. I think that is a valid parental response to a teenager, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is a more or less universal parental response to a teenager, though it doesn't always work.
While I have used that same parental response at times (just take your medicine, for example), it isn't the method I prefer to use when something requires a commitment from the child in order to make it work. I won't undermine Ping's approach, but I will try to support it in more subtle ways.
Cici and I had a good conversation about this issue last night. She wasn't too happy with Ping's instructions, and Ping wasn't here to discuss the issue with her. Why does Mama insist that I play the Gu Zheng? she wanted to know. Because that is what parents do, I responded. Parents know things from experience that children don't know yet. Right now you don't realize the significance of playing the Gu Zheng. Let me tell you what I see. For one thing, I see five thousand years of your heritage, your culture, in that Gu Zheng. Don't lose that, Cici. Don't ever let anyone take away your heritage.
The Gu Zheng is just one symbol of your heritage, but it is a good one. So few people can play this musical instrument, and you play it so beautifully. What Mama wants, and I want it too, is for you to use your talents and not let them fade away. Why? It is because we love you, Cici. It is because we know that one day this will be important to you. One day you will want your own daughter to play the Gu Zheng, to pass this wonderful talent on to the next generation.
And guess what. Your daughter will have the same reaction. Why Mama, why must I learn to play the Gu Zheng? I hope you will have answers for her, Cici. Think about whether you will agree then with what Mama and I see about you today. Will you want your daughter to understand that you know things that she doesn't yet know?
I could sense a change in attitude as we talked. What time will you get up tomorrow morning? I asked. Seven o'clock, she said with a raised eyebrow. Tomorrow is Sunday, I said. How about nine o'clock? Okay. And we went to bed at a much more reasonable hour than she has been doing over the past week.
It is six thirty as I write these words. I can hear that Cici is awake already in her room. I think it will be a good morning to take my daughter to eat dim sum, and take a legal pad so we can map out her study and practice schedule that will start tomorrow at seven a.m. I have a feeling that she is ready to assume more responsibility for her future, and will want to talk some more with me about it.
Ping's answer is simple and direct. You will do it. I think that is a valid parental response to a teenager, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is a more or less universal parental response to a teenager, though it doesn't always work.
While I have used that same parental response at times (just take your medicine, for example), it isn't the method I prefer to use when something requires a commitment from the child in order to make it work. I won't undermine Ping's approach, but I will try to support it in more subtle ways.
Cici and I had a good conversation about this issue last night. She wasn't too happy with Ping's instructions, and Ping wasn't here to discuss the issue with her. Why does Mama insist that I play the Gu Zheng? she wanted to know. Because that is what parents do, I responded. Parents know things from experience that children don't know yet. Right now you don't realize the significance of playing the Gu Zheng. Let me tell you what I see. For one thing, I see five thousand years of your heritage, your culture, in that Gu Zheng. Don't lose that, Cici. Don't ever let anyone take away your heritage.
The Gu Zheng is just one symbol of your heritage, but it is a good one. So few people can play this musical instrument, and you play it so beautifully. What Mama wants, and I want it too, is for you to use your talents and not let them fade away. Why? It is because we love you, Cici. It is because we know that one day this will be important to you. One day you will want your own daughter to play the Gu Zheng, to pass this wonderful talent on to the next generation.
And guess what. Your daughter will have the same reaction. Why Mama, why must I learn to play the Gu Zheng? I hope you will have answers for her, Cici. Think about whether you will agree then with what Mama and I see about you today. Will you want your daughter to understand that you know things that she doesn't yet know?
I could sense a change in attitude as we talked. What time will you get up tomorrow morning? I asked. Seven o'clock, she said with a raised eyebrow. Tomorrow is Sunday, I said. How about nine o'clock? Okay. And we went to bed at a much more reasonable hour than she has been doing over the past week.
It is six thirty as I write these words. I can hear that Cici is awake already in her room. I think it will be a good morning to take my daughter to eat dim sum, and take a legal pad so we can map out her study and practice schedule that will start tomorrow at seven a.m. I have a feeling that she is ready to assume more responsibility for her future, and will want to talk some more with me about it.
Seems like Cici has lots going on. Hard work always pays off.
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There are also other benefits to learning musical instruments, but I think she is already showing those benefits with her stellar academic abilities.
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